Live Chat: RBNY/TOR

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First game of the season, live chatted by Monty, Brian, and myself, Dan. Will be edited at regular points of the match.

Monty: I like the “do teammates hang out” angle. That’s a good lipstick-on-a-pig approach, Bryan.

Dan: Monty is referring to the opening shot of the coverage when Dax and Sasha showed up. Couldn’t have looked more different from each other. No way they hang.

Brian: Everybody hangs out with Dax. He’s a fucking pimp.

Dan: He looks like someones Irish little brother.

Monty: Named after the coolest kid in a mid-90’s cartoon about middle school.

Brian: True playa.

Monty: My hawt take of the night: Get rid of the Supporter’s Shield.

Brian: *not take

Dan: Fuck no! I say make it more important, dump the playoffs

Monty: I guess when it’s the only silverware you’ve got, it’s worth keeping.Now THAT’S a hot take!

Brian: Oh, I had forgotten. Thanks for the reminder.

Monty: They’re the Portugal of MLS!

Monty: Giovinco is like a gnat to Baah. I like Grella so far. He’s working towards a yellow, but he’s gonna earn it.

Dan: Did someone just shoot Will Johnson? Went down like a sniper took him out!

Monty: OF COURSE Jozy is out with a hammy.

Brian: His hamstrings are apparently made of aged ham.

Dan: First 15 minutes, dead so far.

Brian: The sexy tones of Shep Messing have never sounded better.

Dan: Oh Shit!

Brian: Very nice build up from RBNY there.

Monty: Disagree with that offsides call a little bit back. Toronto player pretty much passed it to the RBNY player.

Dan: Love that backheel! RBNY have some talented ball handlers. Love the way they pass

Monty: Toronto has one play right now.

Dan: Toronto cant seem to get a pass onsides to Gio

Dan: BWP perfect pass on that opportunity. Not sure how Sam missed that shot, by the way.

Brian: HARD AND LOW, LLOYD. HARD AND LOW.

Dan: Enough of the coaching, Mrs. Lloyd. You get this many chances, one is going in eventually

Brian: I like Baah’s game so far. Solid positioning, not trying to do too much.

Monty: Nobody actually wants consistency from reffing.

Brian: Wil Johnson’s a disaster so far.

Dan: We dont want consistency, we want the call, every time.

Monty: Looks like he’s running in snow boots.

Dan: 2 other matches just started

Brian: I thought it was odd when TFC signed him.

Monty: Fire NYCFC? Woof.

Monty: I’ll stick around here and switch over for the Monty Cup.

Dan: Just loaded two other game simultaneously, digging the screen within a screen

Monty: How do you guys feel about recording segments for BMHUSA with guest interviews?

Dan: PLanned on it.

Brian: Fine by me.

Dan: Oh Gio, you sneaky bastard

Monty: Gio. Gottdamn.

Brian: Robles ain’t some fucking chump, doe.

Dan: pffft.

Dan: ORL just had a goal called offsides. Larin with the chance.

Brian: Felipe is so underrated.

Brian: Great work by Zizzo there.

Monty: Too bad he was just slashed with a machete/machine gun hybrid.

Dan: Back to back muggings there.  Holy shit, you should have seen NYCFC’s McNamara and his fucking wonder strike just now

Monty: Near-perfect temperatures in the mid-40s? I’ve been in Texas too long, I guess!

Brian: Was it a goal?

Dan: NYFC1-CHI0. Yurp. Gorgeous strike

Brian: I love that McNamera is getting run from Viera.

Dan: Beautiful pass right there! Just missed!

Brian: I see that. Wtf?

Monty: Proposed new nickname for the Taxis: “Sunspots”

HALFTIME

Monty: First half takez: 1. Toronto needs to stop making every play for Gio. NYRB has figured out that’s the only play, and are pressuring accordingly. 2. Grella is going to get a card. 3. Endo isn’t covering much ground, but he’s making plays to warrant the recent hype.

Brian: Nice Fire goal.

Monty: RSL down to 10.

Brian: Yikes.

Monty: Phillips karate kicked Larin in the nuts.

Brian: As I predicted, the NYFC (lol) away kits look pretty fresh on the pitch.

Monty: NEW YORK FUCKIN’ CITY!  TFC tied 0-0 on the road, tho…

Brian: As Dan predicted, the Fire’s kits look pretty good. I was wrong on that call.

Brian: Tied 0–0 because RBNY was profligate with chances. TFC has looked very bad.

Monty: FYFC looks like Syracuse. Toronto doesn’t look BAD, just unoriginal. *Chicago, not toronto. Although, the comment works for both.

Dan: RSL penalty!

Monty: It occurred to me that Revs new home kits look like a stumpier version of PSG.

Brian: TFC looks bad. Poor shape, lots if turnovers, terrible passing, no creativity, and lots of luck to not be down a goal or two.

Brian: Hahahaha—commentator just said “New York FC.”

Monty: I’m going to RT that Plata dance gif every time he scores.

Dan: TFC is focusing too much on trying to get the ball to Gio, let it happen, naturally.

Dan: Chicago’s Harrington is bleeding jesus. Spiked in the head.

Dan: Ugly ass tackle by Zubar

Brian: Yeah. Could have been red. Stupid.

Monty: Fuckin right.

Brian: No one likes Zubar. We want Perrinelle back ASAP.

Dan: NYCFC up 3-1. Jesus, Chicago sucks. Real is up 1-0 but down a man.

Brian: I switched away because that match was boring. Oops.

Brian: Everyone defending for TFC.

Dan: TFC looks 1000X better  

Monty: Favorite call of the day so far: “defender takes a bad angle.” Should just be “CTRL+JJ”

Brian: Hahaha

Monty: Johnson took his snow boots off.

Dan: MontyBowl just began

Dan: Brek Shea has the world’s worst hair. period.

Dan: Orlando just went down a man, now 10-10 in that match.

Brian: Felipe and Grella both just owned Bradley.

Dan: How did he miss that?

Brian: They both tried to hit it. Geez.

Brian: Irwin did play that well.

Monty: Does MLS Live offer home/away choice?

Dan: no

Brian: Nope.

Dan: RSL penalty!

Monty: It occurred to me that Revs new home kits look like a stumpier version of PSG.

Brian: TFC looks bad. Poor shape, lots if turnovers, terrible passing, no creativity, and lots of luck to not be down a goal or two.

Brian: Hahahaha—commentator just said “New York FC.”

Monty: I’m going to RT that Plata dance gif every time he scores.

Dan: TFC is focusing too much on trying to get the ball to Gio, let it happen, naturally.

Dan: Chicago’s Harrington is bleeding jesus. Spiked in the head.

Dan: Ugly ass tackle by Zubar

Brian: Yeah. Could have been red. Stupid.

Monty: Fuckin right.

Brian: No one likes Zubar. We want Perrinelle back ASAP.

Dan: NYCFC up 3-1. Jesus, Chicago sucks. Real is up 1-0 but down a man.

Brian: I switched away because that match was boring. Oops.

Brian: Everyone defending for TFC.

Dan: TFC looks 1000X better  

Monty: Favorite call of the day so far: “defender takes a bad angle.” Should just be “CTRL+JJ”

Brian: Hahaha

Monty: Johnson took his snow boots off.

Dan: MontyBowl just began

Dan: Brek Shea has the world’s worst hair. period.

Dan: Orlando just went down a man, now 10-10 in that match.

Brian: Felipe and Grella both just owned Bradley.

Dan: How did he miss that?

Brian: They both tried to hit it. Geez.

Brian: Irwin did play that well.

Monty: Does MLS Live offer home/away choice?

Dan: no

Brian: Nope.

Brian: Jesus. TFC just had two great bites at the (big) apple.

Dan: Really dislike that last Red Bulls strike. That bullshit swing for the fences stuff. Never goes in.

Monty: Not a good metaphor for New Jersey. Two bites at the grease truck pierogi?

Brian: Except when it does go in.

Dan: Fire only down 1 goal now. Slick steal and goal.

Dan: Gio! Penalty! Buried it!

Monty: Lee Nguyen has hands for feet so far…

Dan: Nothing much from either team so far. And GOAL!

Dan: And somewhere in Kentucky, Brian shed a tear

Monty: That would be Lexington.

Dan: Jesus, not a good showing by NYRB

Brian: I’ll have a couple things to say about this match on tomorrow’s show,

Dan: *Begins drinking heavily

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Live Chat: RBNY/TOR

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