Who The F#%K Are You? Harrisburg City Islanders


There’s two types of kids in this world, those that lived in the same place their entire childhood and those that moved repeatedly like American nomads. I fall into the second category. Originally born in Aransas Pass, Texas, my family moved all over the Lone Star State before heading to the Midwest and spending years in Indiana, Ohio, and Pennsylvania. When someone asks me where I’m from, I typically have an aneurysm and twitch on the ground.

During my stay in Pennsylvania, I lived in a tiny town called Sunbury, which is charming in an upstate Pennsylvania sort of way. There’s a lot of land between Pittsburgh and Philadelphia, and my family lived in that beautiful middle ground. Our town was right on the Susquehanna River, fucking gorgeous. Right down that river is the capital of the state, Harrisburg. Also the home of the Harrisburg City Islanders. Continue reading “Who The F#%K Are You? Harrisburg City Islanders”

Who The F#%K Are You? Harrisburg City Islanders

El Paso Finally Gets Soccer


So allow me, for the moment, to breathlessly descend inside baseball for an article and discuss what appears to be an upcoming USL franchise for my home city of El Paso, Texas.

So in the down in the West Texas town of El Paso, there’s a really rich guy by the name of Paul Foster. He made his fortune the same way lots of guys in West Texas do, oil. He owns Western Refining and is known to donate millions to his alma mater, Baylor University. According to Wikipedia, he’s worth 1.9 billion. Yeah, with a B. Dude is loaded.

Paul Foster’s wife (and I’ve actually met her a couple of times, but she wouldn’t know me if I was in a lineup), Alejandra de la Vega Foster, is one of the most powerful women (nah, people is more like it) in the city that borders El Paso in Mexico, Juarez. She made her cash running an empire of convenience stores, restaurants, and as the co-owner of the semi famous Triple A team, El Paso Chihuahuas.

Just this year, MountainStar (a reference to a famous El Paso landmark) Sports Group, which she leads added a team into the second division of Mexico’s Liga MX, Juarez FC. You may have seen them recently on SportsCenter missing promotion to the big league by a single match. Mrs. Vega Foster runs that team. She’s a badass of epic proportions and the perfect match for her equally powerful husband.

Well, thanks be to the gods, MountainStar has been working with the USL to add a franchise to El Paso. According to the El Paso Times (an actual newspaper), the group had originally be in contact the Don of MLS, before settling on USL (with the goal of promotion eventually). According to the same article, the new USL franchise should be added in time for the 2018 season. Along with the new club, a new soccer-specific 7,500 seat stadium is in the works. El Paso may be asked to kick in some cash to help. Where do I send my check?


El Paso Finally Gets Soccer

USOC or USuck?


USOC Round Up

If you’ve been paying attention to American soccer, you know that the biggest and most awesomest of tournaments is currently being held, the US Open Cup. This tournament features teams of semi-pros all the way up to MLS. Absolutely amazing and, of course, everyone wants an upset.

Last night gave the people what they wanted. If you want all the results, here’s the full rundown from ussoccer.com. Here’s a couple that really caught our eye:

Pittsburgh Riverhounds 0, Lansdowne Bhoys 2 – The Lansdowne Bhoys were formed in 1997 and play semi-pro ball in Yonkers NY. It’s somewhat shocking the knocked off the Riverhounds, though considering the recent Romeo Parkes incident maybe not so much. The Bhoys move on to face 2015 USL champions, Rochester who smoked the fuck out of their opponents, Southie FC (one of my favorite names in the tourney), 7-0.


FC Cincinnati 2, Indy Eleven 1 – FC Cinci has a soft spot in my heart due their geographic location (my old hometown) and their impressive start to their inaugural season. The Eleven were tied with the hometeam going into halftime, but a strike by Cincinnati’s Jimmy McLaughlin in the 61st minute put his team up for good. FC Cinci goes on to face the NASL’s Tampa Bay Rowdies, one of the most tenured teams in the country, in round three.

Put on your tin foil hats, please.

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One thing that sort of caught the eye of BMH was the lack of media coverage by the USL squads that have been so proactive with the use of Youtube to broadcast their matches. Now, $1 beers aside (that’s a great deal!), the USL’s CHarleston Battery posted a weirdly opaque Tweet last night just before their match (and eventual loss, another massive upset). “For reasons beyond our control, we will not be streaming tonight’s game.” 2/3 of your favorite podcast hosts think this weird as fuck and smacks of MLS not wanting competition with their Wednesday night matches. 1/3 thinks we are overthinking it. Either way, we’ve reached out to but the Battery and USL for response via Twitter and so far, nada. If they do respond, we’ll post it.

  • Dan
USOC or USuck?

Columbus Screw


If you follow MLS, you’ve already heard the news but let’s repeat it for old time’s sake. Columbus Crew, in a last second (seriously, like 12:55a) deal, have traded their star forward, Kei Kamara to New England for “a record amount of allocation money…as well as New England’s highest first round SuperDraft pick in 2017, second round pick in 2018 and an international roster spot for the 2016 season.”source

Continue reading “Columbus Screw”

Columbus Screw

“This isn’t a beauty contest”


Colorado wins another one at home, running their unbeaten streak to 6 games. Their challengers tonight were the rapidly falling Sporting Kansas City, who seem to be collapsing during each match. It’s been six matches since KC has garnered more than a single point and the weight of that streak seems to be sitting heavily on their shoulders. Continue reading ““This isn’t a beauty contest””

“This isn’t a beauty contest”