“This isn’t a beauty contest”

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Colorado wins another one at home, running their unbeaten streak to 6 games. Their challengers tonight were the rapidly falling Sporting Kansas City, who seem to be collapsing during each match. It’s been six matches since KC has garnered more than a single point and the weight of that streak seems to be sitting heavily on their shoulders. Continue reading ““This isn’t a beauty contest””

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“This isn’t a beauty contest”

Julian Green Transfer Rumors

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USMNT on again off again member Julian Green may be shifting from one major European soccer power to another. After three years with Bundesliga giant, Bayern Munich, Green is having a hard time getting off the bench and into the game. Obviously this is limiting his chances of developing his skills at the highest level.

Continue reading “Julian Green Transfer Rumors”

Julian Green Transfer Rumors

NYCFC Adds more Transfer Cash, sheds Jacobson

New England Revolution v New York City FC

According to MLS.com, NYCFC has trading midfielder Andrew Jacobson to the Vancouver Whitecaps for Targeted Allocation Money. Jacobson is a solid, experienced veteran of 174 MLS matches. He’s not an amazing player, just a solid bench player who can bring experience to a club looking for a gap filler who will play his role on the pitch. In the same article, Carl Robinson, Whitecaps head coach, stated his goal for Jacobson: “Andrew will also be an important asset in the locker room, as he will help guide our young midfielders.” What NYCFC plans on doing with that money remains to be seen, but they are a club who doesn’t mind spending money to add talents, even if that talent is in name only.For those of you who may not know what exactly Targeted Allocation Money is:

MLS clubs may bring forward a portion or all of their allotted Targeted Allocation Money, up to $500,000, to be used in a single season on up to three players at a time. For example, if a club wishes to sign a player at or above the maximum salary budget charge this season, that club may use up to $500,000 of their Targeted Allocation Money this year to acquire him. A club that uses all of its allotted money will not receive more Targeted Allocation Money unless they acquire it from another team.

For his part, Jacobson seemed happy with the trade as it makes him geographically nearer to home.: “I want to sincerely thank New York City FC for helping me make a move to be closer to my family.

Photo borrowed from VancouverSun.com

NYCFC Adds more Transfer Cash, sheds Jacobson

Who the F#%k are You? Bethelem Steel FC

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Standing in stark contrast to the current trend of borrowing the cache of some other established brand, the first generation of soccer club naming conventions in the U.S. was impressively earnest. To wit: fans in the early twentieth century U.S. rooted for teams called the Chicago Bricklayers, St. Louis Central Breweries F.C., New Bedford Whalers (the current mascot name of New Bedford High School), Fall River Marksmen, Ben Millers (named after the Ben Miller Hat Company, of course), Robins Dry Dock, and pertinent to this entry, Bethlehem Steel F.C. This era of straightforward name association ensured that each team had a built-in connection to its blue collar fan base, while also providing that the teams themselves stood as athletic monuments to enterprise and capital.

In 2015, a fan vote resurrected the Steel name to serve as the banner for the USL affiliate of MLS’s Philadelphia Union, and so in 2016, a professional team called Bethlehem Steel F.C will play its first game since Herbert Hoover occupied the White House. (Believe it or not, the recently reincarnated Steel is only the second-most badass-sounding team name in the Lehigh Valley. That distinction belongs to the IronPigs, the AAA farm team of Major League Baseball’s Philadelphia Phillies.) Nomenclature aside, the current iteration of Steel F.C. shares little in common with the original club. It does however provide further evidence that soccer fans in the Keystone State – who had an MLS supporters’ club before having an actual MLS team to support – take themselves and their history very seriously.

The original Bethlehem Steel Football Club was founded in 1907 and proceeded to win the U.S. Open Cup five times before dissolving in 1930. The current version, due to U.S. Soccer’s arcane eligibility rules for affiliates and the nation’s staunch hypocrisy regarding the free market principle of professional sports team relegation, will be ineligible to even play in the U.S. Open Cup. Score another one for capitalism, I guess.

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-Monty

Who the F#%k are You? Bethelem Steel FC

Live Chat: RBNY/TOR

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First game of the season, live chatted by Monty, Brian, and myself, Dan. Will be edited at regular points of the match.

Monty: I like the “do teammates hang out” angle. That’s a good lipstick-on-a-pig approach, Bryan.

Dan: Monty is referring to the opening shot of the coverage when Dax and Sasha showed up. Couldn’t have looked more different from each other. No way they hang.

Brian: Everybody hangs out with Dax. He’s a fucking pimp.

Dan: He looks like someones Irish little brother.

Monty: Named after the coolest kid in a mid-90’s cartoon about middle school.

Brian: True playa.

Monty: My hawt take of the night: Get rid of the Supporter’s Shield.

Brian: *not take

Dan: Fuck no! I say make it more important, dump the playoffs

Monty: I guess when it’s the only silverware you’ve got, it’s worth keeping.Now THAT’S a hot take!

Brian: Oh, I had forgotten. Thanks for the reminder.

Monty: They’re the Portugal of MLS!

Monty: Giovinco is like a gnat to Baah. I like Grella so far. He’s working towards a yellow, but he’s gonna earn it.

Dan: Did someone just shoot Will Johnson? Went down like a sniper took him out!

Monty: OF COURSE Jozy is out with a hammy.

Brian: His hamstrings are apparently made of aged ham.

Dan: First 15 minutes, dead so far.

Brian: The sexy tones of Shep Messing have never sounded better.

Dan: Oh Shit!

Brian: Very nice build up from RBNY there.

Monty: Disagree with that offsides call a little bit back. Toronto player pretty much passed it to the RBNY player.

Dan: Love that backheel! RBNY have some talented ball handlers. Love the way they pass

Monty: Toronto has one play right now.

Dan: Toronto cant seem to get a pass onsides to Gio

Dan: BWP perfect pass on that opportunity. Not sure how Sam missed that shot, by the way.

Brian: HARD AND LOW, LLOYD. HARD AND LOW.

Dan: Enough of the coaching, Mrs. Lloyd. You get this many chances, one is going in eventually

Brian: I like Baah’s game so far. Solid positioning, not trying to do too much.

Monty: Nobody actually wants consistency from reffing.

Brian: Wil Johnson’s a disaster so far.

Dan: We dont want consistency, we want the call, every time.

Monty: Looks like he’s running in snow boots.

Dan: 2 other matches just started

Brian: I thought it was odd when TFC signed him.

Monty: Fire NYCFC? Woof.

Monty: I’ll stick around here and switch over for the Monty Cup.

Dan: Just loaded two other game simultaneously, digging the screen within a screen

Monty: How do you guys feel about recording segments for BMHUSA with guest interviews?

Dan: PLanned on it.

Brian: Fine by me.

Dan: Oh Gio, you sneaky bastard

Monty: Gio. Gottdamn.

Brian: Robles ain’t some fucking chump, doe.

Dan: pffft.

Dan: ORL just had a goal called offsides. Larin with the chance.

Brian: Felipe is so underrated.

Brian: Great work by Zizzo there.

Monty: Too bad he was just slashed with a machete/machine gun hybrid.

Dan: Back to back muggings there.  Holy shit, you should have seen NYCFC’s McNamara and his fucking wonder strike just now

Monty: Near-perfect temperatures in the mid-40s? I’ve been in Texas too long, I guess!

Brian: Was it a goal?

Dan: NYFC1-CHI0. Yurp. Gorgeous strike

Brian: I love that McNamera is getting run from Viera.

Dan: Beautiful pass right there! Just missed!

Brian: I see that. Wtf?

Monty: Proposed new nickname for the Taxis: “Sunspots”

HALFTIME

Monty: First half takez: 1. Toronto needs to stop making every play for Gio. NYRB has figured out that’s the only play, and are pressuring accordingly. 2. Grella is going to get a card. 3. Endo isn’t covering much ground, but he’s making plays to warrant the recent hype.

Brian: Nice Fire goal.

Monty: RSL down to 10.

Brian: Yikes.

Monty: Phillips karate kicked Larin in the nuts.

Brian: As I predicted, the NYFC (lol) away kits look pretty fresh on the pitch.

Monty: NEW YORK FUCKIN’ CITY!  TFC tied 0-0 on the road, tho…

Brian: As Dan predicted, the Fire’s kits look pretty good. I was wrong on that call.

Brian: Tied 0–0 because RBNY was profligate with chances. TFC has looked very bad.

Monty: FYFC looks like Syracuse. Toronto doesn’t look BAD, just unoriginal. *Chicago, not toronto. Although, the comment works for both.

Dan: RSL penalty!

Monty: It occurred to me that Revs new home kits look like a stumpier version of PSG.

Brian: TFC looks bad. Poor shape, lots if turnovers, terrible passing, no creativity, and lots of luck to not be down a goal or two.

Brian: Hahahaha—commentator just said “New York FC.”

Monty: I’m going to RT that Plata dance gif every time he scores.

Dan: TFC is focusing too much on trying to get the ball to Gio, let it happen, naturally.

Dan: Chicago’s Harrington is bleeding jesus. Spiked in the head.

Dan: Ugly ass tackle by Zubar

Brian: Yeah. Could have been red. Stupid.

Monty: Fuckin right.

Brian: No one likes Zubar. We want Perrinelle back ASAP.

Dan: NYCFC up 3-1. Jesus, Chicago sucks. Real is up 1-0 but down a man.

Brian: I switched away because that match was boring. Oops.

Brian: Everyone defending for TFC.

Dan: TFC looks 1000X better  

Monty: Favorite call of the day so far: “defender takes a bad angle.” Should just be “CTRL+JJ”

Brian: Hahaha

Monty: Johnson took his snow boots off.

Dan: MontyBowl just began

Dan: Brek Shea has the world’s worst hair. period.

Dan: Orlando just went down a man, now 10-10 in that match.

Brian: Felipe and Grella both just owned Bradley.

Dan: How did he miss that?

Brian: They both tried to hit it. Geez.

Brian: Irwin did play that well.

Monty: Does MLS Live offer home/away choice?

Dan: no

Brian: Nope.

Dan: RSL penalty!

Monty: It occurred to me that Revs new home kits look like a stumpier version of PSG.

Brian: TFC looks bad. Poor shape, lots if turnovers, terrible passing, no creativity, and lots of luck to not be down a goal or two.

Brian: Hahahaha—commentator just said “New York FC.”

Monty: I’m going to RT that Plata dance gif every time he scores.

Dan: TFC is focusing too much on trying to get the ball to Gio, let it happen, naturally.

Dan: Chicago’s Harrington is bleeding jesus. Spiked in the head.

Dan: Ugly ass tackle by Zubar

Brian: Yeah. Could have been red. Stupid.

Monty: Fuckin right.

Brian: No one likes Zubar. We want Perrinelle back ASAP.

Dan: NYCFC up 3-1. Jesus, Chicago sucks. Real is up 1-0 but down a man.

Brian: I switched away because that match was boring. Oops.

Brian: Everyone defending for TFC.

Dan: TFC looks 1000X better  

Monty: Favorite call of the day so far: “defender takes a bad angle.” Should just be “CTRL+JJ”

Brian: Hahaha

Monty: Johnson took his snow boots off.

Dan: MontyBowl just began

Dan: Brek Shea has the world’s worst hair. period.

Dan: Orlando just went down a man, now 10-10 in that match.

Brian: Felipe and Grella both just owned Bradley.

Dan: How did he miss that?

Brian: They both tried to hit it. Geez.

Brian: Irwin did play that well.

Monty: Does MLS Live offer home/away choice?

Dan: no

Brian: Nope.

Brian: Jesus. TFC just had two great bites at the (big) apple.

Dan: Really dislike that last Red Bulls strike. That bullshit swing for the fences stuff. Never goes in.

Monty: Not a good metaphor for New Jersey. Two bites at the grease truck pierogi?

Brian: Except when it does go in.

Dan: Fire only down 1 goal now. Slick steal and goal.

Dan: Gio! Penalty! Buried it!

Monty: Lee Nguyen has hands for feet so far…

Dan: Nothing much from either team so far. And GOAL!

Dan: And somewhere in Kentucky, Brian shed a tear

Monty: That would be Lexington.

Dan: Jesus, not a good showing by NYRB

Brian: I’ll have a couple things to say about this match on tomorrow’s show,

Dan: *Begins drinking heavily

Live Chat: RBNY/TOR

‘Merica!

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They say you should never read the comments. For some reason, I read a few of the comments on this pile of shit posted on Screamer yesterday. I’m glad I did, because Chris Pronger makes a lot of sense:

I really dislike this tone on Deadspin. There’s always a reminder of how bad the football is in MLS. I’m from Europe and in no way interested in MLS. However, it’s your local league. How it compares to England or Germany is irrelevant. You support your local league. That’s how they do it in England. But it’s also how they do it in Egypt and Macedonia, in Iceland and Iran. Do you think every Polish football writer starts all his columns with “I know our league isn’t the EPL, but hear me out guys.” It’s okay to support foreign clubs, but respect your local football.

It makes little sense to write a post about the promise of American soccer while shitting on the league that has done the most to develop American soccer. I wish some folks would stop comparing MLS to other leagues at every turn. Take it for what it is: our league.

-Brian

MLS logo from Wikipedia.com.

‘Merica!